How to Tell Which Inner Voice to Listen To: A Layman’s Guide to the Discernment of Spirits
We make thousands of decisions every day. Most are trivial—what to eat, what to wear—but some carry the weight of our future. Should I take this job? Is this the right relationship? Why do I feel so anxious about this new project?
When faced with big choices, we are often told to "listen to our gut" or "follow our heart." But what happens when our gut is tied in knots and our heart is sending mixed signals?
Discernment of Spirits
Over 500 years ago, a soldier-turned-monk named St. Ignatius of Loyola developed a practical framework to solve this exact problem. While recovering from a shattered leg sustained in battle, Ignatius noticed a distinct pattern in his daydreams. Thoughts of worldly success left him feeling empty and restless, while thoughts of serving God and others left him with a lingering sense of peace and joy.
He codified these observations into the Discernment of Spirits.
Don't let the ancient, mystical-sounding name fool you. At its core, the Discernment of Spirits is a highly psychological, deeply practical toolkit for sorting through your internal thoughts and emotions. It helps you figure out which inner nudges are leading you toward a life of purpose, peace, and growth, and which are trying to drag you into fear, ego, and stagnation.
Here is how to apply this timeless wisdom to your everyday life, looking at how it has played out in the lives of historical figures.
1. The Two Inner States: Consolation and Desolation
Ignatius realized that our internal world generally operates in one of two states, which he called "Consolation" and "Desolation." Understanding the difference is the foundation of discernment.
Spiritual Consolation (The Voice of Life)
Consolation is an internal state of being drawn toward goodness, love, and purpose. It is the hallmark of the "good spirit" or the Holy Spirit.
- What it feels like: Deep peace, quiet courage, an increase in empathy for others, and a sense that even heavy burdens are manageable. It produces the "good fruits" mentioned in the Bible, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
- The Catch: Consolation does not always mean feeling "happy." You can feel deep sorrow (like mourning a loss or regretting a mistake) but still be in a state of consolation if that sorrow is leading you to heal, make amends, or grow.
Historical Example: In 1956, during the Montgomery bus boycott, Martin Luther King Jr. received threatening phone calls that left him terrified and ready to quit. Sitting at his kitchen table, he prayed aloud. He later wrote that he heard an inner voice telling him to "stand up for righteousness, stand up for justice, stand up for truth." This prompt replaced his panic with quiet courage—a profound state of consolation—giving him the strength to lead the Civil Rights Movement.
Spiritual Desolation (The Voice of Fear)
Desolation is an internal state of darkness, turmoil, and disconnection, often attributed by Ignatius to the "evil spirit" or the ego.
- What it feels like: Restlessness, anxiety, feeling isolated from others, obsessing over worst-case scenarios, laziness, and a general lack of hope. It turns us inward and cuts us off from community.
- The Catch: Desolation isn't just "having a bad day." It's a specific type of inner heavy fog that makes you want to give up on your values or commitments. Even Jesus experienced desolation in the Garden of Gethsemane, feeling anguish so deep he sweat drops of blood, yet he resisted despair through prayer (Luke 22:44).
Historical Example: Many saints experienced prolonged periods of "spiritual dryness" or desolation. Mother Teresa experienced decades of inner darkness where she felt entirely disconnected from God's presence. Yet, she recognized this as a trial, not a reason to quit, and she continued her work with the poor with unshakeable fidelity.
2. Context Matters: Which Way Are You Headed?
One of Ignatius's most brilliant insights was that these two "voices" change their tactics depending on the current trajectory of your life.
Scenario A: You are stuck in bad habits or acting selfishly.
If you are moving in a negative direction (from sin to sin), the "bad" voice will try to keep you comfortable. It will rationalize your behavior ("One more drink won't hurt," "Everyone lies on their taxes"). In this scenario, the "good" voice acts as a disruptor. It will sting your conscience and make you feel uncomfortable to wake you up.
Scenario B: You are trying to improve your life.
If you are actively trying to grow, be kinder, or pursue a noble goal, the roles reverse. The "good" voice will bring you peace, encouragement, and smooth the path. The "bad" voice becomes the disruptor. It will throw up roadblocks of anxiety, false sadness, and intense self-doubt to derail your progress.
Biblical Example: When Peter urged Jesus not to go to Jerusalem to suffer and die, Peter’s motivation likely seemed like brotherly concern. However, Jesus recognized the voice of the "disruptor" trying to derail his noble mission, famously responding, "Get behind me, Satan!" (Matthew 16:23).
3. The Tactics of the "Enemy"
Ignatius personified the source of our negative, destructive thoughts as the "enemy of our human nature." He identified three distinct ways this negative force operates:
The Bully
The negative voice acts like a playground bully. If you cower and give in to a fearful thought, it becomes massive and overwhelming. But if you stand your ground and push back immediately, it loses its power and shrinks.
Example: You feel a sudden wave of panic about an upcoming presentation. If you indulge the panic, it spirals. If you immediately say, "No, I have prepared for this, and I am going to do my best," the panic often subsides.
The Secret-Keeper
The negative voice thrives in the dark. It acts like a false friend, telling you to keep your struggles a secret. "Don't tell anyone you feel like a fraud at work, they'll fire you."
- Example: Imposter syndrome is a classic example of this. The moment you bring the secret into the light—by telling a trusted mentor or friend, "I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing"—the deceptive thought instantly loses its grip on you.
The Military Strategist
A general attacking a castle doesn't strike the thickest wall; he finds the weakest, most vulnerable point. The negative voice does the same. It studies your personality to find your specific weakness—be it financial insecurity, a need for approval, or sheer physical exhaustion—and attacks exactly there.
Example: If you are a chronic people-pleaser, the negative voice won't tempt you with greed; it will tempt you to abandon your own boundaries and burn yourself out trying to keep everyone else happy.
4. The Golden Rule: Don't Change Course in a Storm
If you only remember one rule from the Discernment of Spirits, make it this one: Never make a major change or reverse a decision when you are in a state of desolation.
When you are engulfed in anxiety, fear, or spiritual dryness, your internal compass is spinning wildly. Any decision you make to "escape" that feeling will almost certainly be the wrong one.
Modern Example: You have a stable, decent-paying job, but your company goes through a chaotic reorganization. Amid the rumors and panic (desolation), a voice tells you to quit immediately and take the first job offer you get, even if it’s a bad fit. Ignatius would say: Stop. Do not act. Wait until the storm passes and you return to a state of peace (consolation). If you still want a new job when you are calm, then you can explore it. But never act in the dark.
Practical Conclusion: How to Use This Today
The Discernment of Spirits is not about seeking supernatural visions; it is about cultivating a deep awareness of your own interior life. The next time you are faced with a heavy decision or a sudden wave of anxiety, use this simple four-step process:
- Stop and Observe: Take a breath. Don't act immediately. Ask yourself: Am I currently in a state of consolation (peace, hope, clarity) or desolation (anxiety, fear, heaviness)?
- Name the Tactic: Look at the thoughts in your head. Are they acting like a bully? Are they telling you to keep a secret? Are they attacking your known weak point?
- Wait Out the Storm: If you are in desolation, put a freeze on all major decisions. Stick to the commitments you made the last time you were in a good, clear headspace. Do not change course in the dark.
- Follow the Peace: Once the emotional storm clears, look at your options again. Choose the path that brings a quiet, enduring sense of peace and aligns with "good fruits" (love, justice, empathy), even if that path requires hard work or sacrifice.
Ultimately, the Discernment of Spirits teaches us that the right path isn't always the easiest one, but it is always the one that makes us feel most deeply alive and connected to a greater purpose.